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Something I've been savouring recently is how easy it is for me to stay with the appreciation I receive. I was trained to do the opposite growing up.
The critical voice would brush over what was going well. Instead, it would seek out each and every opportunity to focus on the ways I'd let myself down. How I'd not achieved something. Life felt painfully hard.
I didn't make the switch overnight. It has taken me so much time to cultivate that mindset. In the past an uncontrollable anxiety response would come out of nowhere. I tried to find what was triggering it. Each time I would neutralise what my senses found. Yet the pattern persisted. There was always another anxiety trigger.
Recently I had the idea to look for a trigger that was pre-conception. This is so personal - it's true to my own belief system about where we come from and who we are. Certaintly not something that others have to accept.
In my outlook, there is a point in consciousness that comes just prior to taking human form, even if it's a single cell that divides and grows into complex life. This is not a conversation about when does life take human shape - I'm neutral on that.
Returning to the anxiety trigger, this enquiry came from trying to track where the essence of me picked it up. Moving along that pre-conception pathway I found the source of my anxiety trigger. I then did some energy work with EFT and other tools to bring peace. The result is feeling the best version of me that I've ever known!
In the months since this inner work it feels so natural to tune into wave after wave of appreciation that is expresed for the transformation that I facilitate.
I'm sharing this story to acknowledge that some traumas can seem so unrelated to our human experience and yet affect us here where we are. And also wanting to offer reassurance that it's possible to shift a long ingrained pattern and move into the next delicious expression of who you are.
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